A time for reflection

I try to keep my blogs upbeat and not focus on personal items or be overly reflective.  However, I would like to change that a bit, for today at least (normal upbeat post to resume tomorrow, haha).  Today, I would like to reflect a bit and say a huge THANK YOU to my sister and parents!!!

You see, today’s date is a very important date in my personal story.  Four years ago today I had the pleasure of beginning work as a part of the Armed Forces Inaugural Committee.  At the time, I was in the Coast Guard and was station in Milwaukee.  Luck was going my way when I was selected for a 4 ½ month position as a part of this very cool joint forces entity; my luck continued as I was able to live with my sister in Washington, D.C. during this assignment. 

Yep, I got to meet then President-elect Obama!

It was also during this same timeframe that I took the initial steps to save myself.  While I would surely still be alive had I not taken the actions that I did, I would likely not be the confident, outgoing, upbeat Kristie you all know and love (what you don’t love me?  Come on… 🙂).  You see, I had lost myself.  I didn’t realize it when I was in the situation, but those closest to me have since expressed the concern they had at the time as I was not my normal bubbly self.

Why you ask? Well as most of you know (and I would rather not get too deep into here), I was in a toxic environment (read: super bad marriage).

And now you ask why am I sharing this with you all?  I had a conversation with a very dear friend this weekend (& it was crazy timing to coincide w/this date!).  He said something that made me reflect deeply.  If you still hold anger and hatred towards a person (be it an ex-husband, ex-friend, etc.), you are not truly over the person or the situation.  I realized that while I hate what my ex did to me and how I allowed myself to lose my true self for a few years, I no longer hate my ex…don’t get me wrong, I have no desire to ever see or speak to him again, but I no longer wish him the pain and other horrible things that I once did.

I have learned and moved on from my past.  I am happy that I have become the woman that I am today.  Instead of holding hatred and anger in my heart, I have replaced it with happiness and love.  So I guess my “after school special” lesson here is to learn from your past but don’t let it define your future. 

I know it sounds cliché, but when I hit the bottom, my parents and sister were there to pick me up, help dust me off, and will always be there to help me move forward as my biggest fans.  Mom, Dad, and Nee…thank you, I love you, and I will never be able to fully express how your love saved me.

My family 🙂

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